Sandy's Choice
by moonlighttrail
Summary: A different perspective of the girl we all love to hate. One-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

He was late. This was going to be hard enough, but now he was making me sit and think about it even more. Damn him! As I was mentally cursing him, I heard the unmistakable rough roar of the pickup truck he usually drove. I felt another wave of nausea rush over me, and this time it wasn't because of the morning sickness. I still couldn't bring myself to go down to meet him. Instead, I just stared out the window at him. He just sat in his truck. He didn't seem any keener to come in than I was to go out, but finally the rusty door opened, and he stepped out. A few heartbeats later, the sound of the doorknocker echoed through the house. I still couldn't move. Then I heard our front door open, and I slowly began my way downstairs.

"Son, I thought I'd made it abundantly clear you're not to come around here anymore."

"But, Sir, Sandy…"

"Sandra is leaving, Mr. Curtis, and the sooner you come to terms with that, the better. Haven't you caused enough trouble for her, Son?"

"But, Sir…"

"But nothing! I've told you…"

By now, I'd made it to the door and stopped Daddy from going any further with a hand on his arm.

"Daddy, he's here because I asked him. We need to talk."

"Sweetheart, what's it going to accomplish? The decision has already been made."

"I know, Daddy, but what's it going to hurt now? Please."

He sighed in defeat, but let me pass. I took hold of Soda's hand, and we walked slowly down the sidewalk.

"He still hasn't changed his mind, has he? When you called, I'd hoped…" He trailed off unable to finish his sentence. We continued on in silence for a while.

Mama and Daddy had never really approved of Soda. We're not rich or anything, but they still thought he was beneath me. That he had no future. The sixteen year old high school dropout greaser was the only thing they were able to see. On paper, they were right; he had nothing going for him. But if you looked past the paper and saw the boy, there was everything. He was a hard worker who was dedicated to the people he cared about. He'd care for and defend them to his last breath. That's why he'd dropped out of school to get a job. His brothers needed him to, and my parents never did try to understand that. He also had a charm and a smile that could capture any room he walked into. I think that's one reason my parents never trusted him. I think they thought he just had me dazzled, and I'd snap out of it. They thought it was just a crush, and when it started turning serious, they didn't like it. The final piece he had was a heart of gold. He was the truest, and most honest person I'd ever mt. He also trusted whole-heartedly, and I was about to take that from him.

"Sodapop," I said as I stopped him, "About this baby…" I choked up and couldn't continue right then. He just pulled me close and held me. I stood there breathing in the scent that was so uniquely him. That light, clinging combination of motor oil, gasoline, and cigarettes, finished by a dash of aftershave. It made what I had to do so much harder, but yet it steeled my resolve, and I pulled back a little.

"Soda," I continued, "It ain't yours."

He stared at me. Those eyes held no laughter now, only confusion and hurt.

"What are you talkin' about?" he asked slowly.

"It ain't yours, Soda. There was this guy while I was on vacation a few months back…" I just trailed off letting him fill in the blanks.

He let go of me and took a few steps away, turned his back, and cursed softly to himself. I braced myself for the accusations of lying, cheating, two-timing whore that were sure to be thrown at me. I should have known better. If he'd done that, he wouldn't be the Sodapop I knew and loved. The anger never came. When he turned around, he said softly, but with certainty, "My offer still stands, Sandy. I still want to marry you. We'll make it work." I almost broke right there. Why did he have to be so damned noble?

"I'm sorry, Soda. You know Daddy's answer, and that hasn't changed. Anyway, I think it's for the best this way. It's not your problem anymore. You don't have a responsibility to me. Goodbye, Sodapop."

I closed the short space between us and lightly kissed him on the forehead. He stiffened, but didn't push me away. I left him there, defeated and jaded. All for a lie. There was no other guy. I'd never stepped out on him. It was all a lie.

I walked back to my house with tears flooding down my face. I didn't even try to stop them. What I just did deserved those tears. What else could I do? Mama and Daddy were never going to let me marry him and raise this baby, and I couldn't bear leaving him here wondering about a kid of his he'll never get to know for the rest of his life. Some guys wouldn't care, but Soda was different. It would eat him up not knowing. No, he deserves better. He deserves to find a girl he can settle down with proper when he's older and start a real family with when he's ready.

Because I loved him so much, I had to hurt him. To give him peace, I had to take a piece of him; I had to take his trust. I hope one day he'll be able to get some of it back.


	2. Chapter 2

You're a daddy, Sodapop. You don't know it, but you are. You're Daddy to a sweet, seven pound two ounce baby girl. Her name is Jo Ann. That's her name to me anyway.

They took her, Soda. They came and took her right from me. I think I always knew that would happen. I knew I couldn't keep her, but it was so violent, so quick. The afterbirth hadn't even come yet, and the nurse started to take her out of the room. I could have taken on the whole world right then. I was possessed and screaming my head off for them to bring back our girl. To keep me from hurting anyone, even myself, the doctor motioned for the nurse to bring her over to me. I only saw her for a few seconds, but in those brief moments, she stole my breath and my heart. She stole my soul, Soda.

Her tiny fingers were twisting themselves in and out of the little blanket she was wrapped in. Constant motion, just like you. Probably gonna be tapping those fingers and toes all over the place when she gets older. There's something else she got from you. It was still wet and matted, but that hair was your rich, dark gold. Just like yours when you get out of the swimming pool. I'm sure it'll dry lighter and shine in the sunlight like yours does. It's gonna be beautiful all braided up with those wheat-colored highlights in the summers. Maybe I could put a deep blue ribbon in it to set it off real nice. No… I don't guess I'll be able to.

Damn it all to Hell, Soda! You went and took part of me, and she came and took all the rest and more. What's left for me? The Doc says it's just the Baby Blues, but fuck him. I'm just a shell right now, and that shell hurts. It hurts because it wants my baby. It hurts because you're not here to make it better. But that was my choice. I could have fought harder.

* * *

I've been waiting for this for a while now. Our side of town ain't that big, so I knew it was only a matter of time before I saw you. It's been almost a month since I came back which is longer than I'd expected to go without crossing paths. I walked out of the laundromat, and there you were right across the street. I laugh now to think of it, but God must have at least a little pity for me because right as I was about to make a damn fool of myself and go over to you, she came up. Petite, big rack, and long auburn hair. Pretty. A little trashy for you though. She looks more like a Shepard girl. You snaked your arm around her and guided her into the pool hall. I remember what that feels like as if it were yesterday. Your hands were always warm. Not hot and sweaty warm, but comfortable warm. It always made me feel safe when you did that.

I hated her. I didn't even know her, but I hated her. I had no right, but hate ain't always rational. It was my choice, and I have to live with that now. If she's what makes you happy, then I'm alright with it, but it doesn't mean I want to be around to see it.

That's why I'm leaving, Sodapop. It's for good this time. While I was down in Florida, I took some correspondence courses and finished up high school. When the new term starts up at the college, I'm going to sign up for some typing and management courses. When I'm done with those, I'm moving. Maybe New York, maybe Boston or Vegas… I don't have it figured out just yet. But it's gotta be something new, Soda. Somewhere where you haven't been.


End file.
